i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
