i think my mom watched the whole time
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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