..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize