I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize