He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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