I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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