i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
