No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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