Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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