youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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