Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
