Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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