Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
handjob tips. give me some.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
