I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
