READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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