At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
