yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
