i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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