Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
