i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
