You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
