So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
