I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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