it was like having sex with a tree stump
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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