So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
