dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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