she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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