Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
