He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize