I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the condom got lost in my hair
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
