her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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