i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
