Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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