Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
