so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
