what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
