Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
