The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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