I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
