Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
