i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
