So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
