I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
