Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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