worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
