i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize