got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
