New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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