so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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