You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
