It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
