Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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