You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
