Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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