I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize