yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
