Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
