remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
