Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
