Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
