Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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