I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
