I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize