Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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