OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
