Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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