Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
